Go Blogger (dot) net

9 Affordable Ways to (or not to) Write Annoying Posts

Posted on 26. Jul, 2009 by Isaac Yassar in Uncategorized

Hi there!

The success of a blog as a business lies in the readers’ visits. More traffic usually means more success. However, if you don’t want to receive many visits and succeed, there are many ways to accomplish it. One of them is by annoying your audience using your posts.

If you are looking for the best and affordable tips to annoy your readers, you are in the right post. Some people out there have tested all these tips, and all of them work well, no fiction. Here they are:

1. Long + babbling

Nothing annoys people faster than a long babbling post. The length itself is actually enough to scare people away from your post. To create a good one, make sure you put much irrelevant information there. Also disguise your true intention by jumping from one metaphor to another. Make them guessing and wasting their precious time. Guaranteed to be annoying.

Possible response: “Zzzzzzz..” [fall asleep]

2. Register to comment

Here is what you need to do: write a good and reasonable post to invite readers’ willingness to enter a discussion. Then end your post with a super engaging question. When they really want to comment, give them the bitter fact that they have to register before commenting. They’ll think that you are too proud of yourself and get annoyed at once.

Possible response: “Register? Are you high?!”

3. Videos

Record yourself speaking via webcam or something and put the vital section of your post there. Don’t write your important point on your post and don’t put any video subtitle in any language, especially the international one: English. Make sure your video is hi-def and heavy to load. Net-surfers who don’t have fast connection will curse you for the forever loading. Trust me, it works.

Possible response: “Why don’t you just write it?!”

4. Poor formatting

Here is a super-duper combo for optimal formatting annoyance: always write in long paragraphs + use hanging indent to separate paragraphs (not blank lines) + No bold, italic, underline, stroke, color, quote, bullet, number, etc to mark certain critical points.
Make your audience feels like looking for an important grass in a grass-field that looks the same everywhere.

Possible response: [scan the post, fail, and leave at once]

5. Many-many links

Putting one or two links as additional resources, either external or internal ones, is old school. You should put at least 10 links to render your audience feel reluctant to check them all. If they do, they will feel overwhelmed. If they don’t, they will feel missing some of your points. It is a lose-lose situation and will annoy them, trust me.

Possible response: “Do you actually think that I have all day long to visit all your links?!”

6. Dumb-ass Ads placement

Putting ads in the upper section of post is ancient. Putting a bunch of ads everywhere inside your post is a marvelous annoyance strategy. Putting ads above and below a certain link, e.g. download link, will also make it clear that you try to get your visitors mis-click the ads. It will annoy them good.

Possible response: “Beggar..”

7. Misleading post

Start by writing a specific title, which content has nothing to do with it. For example: create a title of “Download Software-X Free Here”, and talk about the software a bit but don’t provide any download link there. And, say something like “Gotcha!” or “Download link? Dunno, I’m also looking for it LOL” in the end of your post.

This is a good trick to set up people coming from search engines. You can consider your post as a joke, but the annoyance it creates is real and solid.

Possible response: [asking other visitors] “How can we bring this site down?!”

8. Under-sea post

You can put advertising or affiliate banners filling the upper half of your site, and put your post on the bottom. So every time you got visitors, they will have to dive underneath your sea of banner and ads first, before reading your post. At least 60% of them will say WTF, the rests probably quickly leave your site.

Possible response: “WTF?!”

9. Separated post

If you write a post, you can separate it into three or more pages. Your visitors will understand that you sacrifice their convenience for more page impressions. They will get annoyed because they can actually read the whole post in a single load, but you force them to taste a number of unnecessary loading.

Possible response: “I’m not buying this sh*t!”

Ok folks, that’s the nine. Oh, if you don’t want to annoy your visitors, just do the other ways around Btw, any idea for the 10th?

Tags: Copywriting, post